highs & lows

Parenthood...quite possibly the hardest thing in the entire world!

Colby is 16 months old and still does not sleep through the night. It's exhausting. I get frustrated and annoyed and he makes me want to scream! Hannah acts like a toddler sometimes. Especially in the mornings when we are getting ready for school. She waits for ME to dress her. She waits for ME to tell her to brush her teeth. She knows how to do these things, but yet it's always ME who has to do it. It's annoying. I don't like it.

Some days I sit back and want to cry because this is my life. This is the path I chose. It's hard! I question my ability to do it all because I don't know if I can be superwoman. Hell, I don't even know if superwoman was cut out for this either.

But there are definite highs that come with parenting. Hannah excels in school and she is such a caring and thoughtful kid. She is like that because I helped mold her into this amazing, beautiful little girl! She is so amazing...so perfect...and she's mine! She belongs to ME!

Colby is such a handsome little guy. He is a cuddle bug and a Mama's boy. When he sleeps at night he puts his little arms around my neck. He relies on ME to protect him and to love him. Everyone always compliments me because of how cute he is. I'm blessed!

I think about all the people who had babies and have lost them and I feel bad for ever being annoyed with my kids. I do love my kids, I really do. I am thankful for their health and blessed beyond words that God chose ME to be Hannah and Colby's mom. If anything ever happened to my kids I would lose my mind. I need them...without my kids I am not ME.

I am April...I am Mama...I am not superwoman...but I am ME...and I think that ME is a damn good person to be.